Ishant Sharma jokes - Funny Facts

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1. Ishant Sharma is God’s answer to BCCI’s wrongdoings.
2. Newton’s 3rd law modified: For every N Srinivasan, there is an equal and opposite Ishant Sharma.
3. Dear Dhoni, Ishant Sharma ko OLX pe bech de.
4. Ishant Sharma makes people miss Ashish Nehra.
5. Dhoni would have bowled better than Ishant Sharma. In fact, even Duncan Fletcher would have.
6. It wasn’t Faulkner, it wasn’t Voges. Australia’s match winner tonight was Ishant Sharma.
7. If ever there was an Orange Cap award for bowlers, Ishant Sharma would win it hands down.
8. Ajit Agarkar would be having second thoughts on his retirement after looking at Ishant Sharma bowl.
9. Restaurants to rename ‘unlimited’ offer packages to ‘Ishant Sharma’ packages.
10. Ishant Sharma should be called Lord Ishant Sharma henceforth.
11. Ishant Sharma doesn’t like to cut his hair because he wants to hide his face when bowlers thrash him around the park.
12. BCCI should consider giving Ishant Shamra voluntary retirement.
13. When Ishant Sharma bowls, it’s a working holiday for all fielders. Of course, the spectators are the real fielders.
14. Ishant Sharma doesn’t need a towel to indicate that he’s giving away runs.
15. Colors to give Ishant Sharma a wild card entry to Big Boss season 7.
16. Abey Kuruvilla can bowl better than Ishant Sharma.
17. Dhoni isn’t India’s greatest finisher, Ishant Sharma is.
18. Ishant Sharma has the ability to overshadow Sir Ravindra Jadeja.
19. At this rate, Ishant Sharma would end up with the most number of centuries (with the ball) for India in ODIs.
20. LOL is Ishant Sharma’s middle name.

LATEST RAJNIKANTH JOKES COLLECTION

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All new series of Rajnikanth:
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Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!
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Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass!
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Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out!!
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The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!!
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Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
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Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost`s
energy;
and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy!
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Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but
Einstein died watching that, since Light came second!!
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Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside"
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When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
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Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!!
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The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
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An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala
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Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
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Rajinikanth is the person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
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Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But
guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer
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This 1 is Baap
Wimbledon special

Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. Ask me anything and I will answer

Rajnikanth: Kanna.. How many holes are there in the net ?

Funny Shayri jokes

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Dear Love Guru,

There is this girl I love so much but I still don't know why she won't talk to me anymore. It started like this:

She posted on Facebook: "All men are dogs!"

I commented: "Which breed is your father?"

That's how the problem started. Please did I ask the wrong question?


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Na-samajh to main na tha, na-samajh to zindagi thi...
Par jab zindagi ne samjhana shuru kia...
Main na-samajh sa khamosh ho gaya


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Meri Manzil, Meri Had Bas Tum Se, Tum Tak,,

Fakhr Ye Ke Tum Mere Ho, Fikr Ye Ke Kab Tak. 


 Keh diya aaj us faqeer ney aaj mera haath dekh kar...

Tu mout sey nahi, kisi ki yaad me marega..! </3


 Do raaste nikalte hai inn galiyon se...
Jo sahi hai.. Wo sahi hi hai
par kise pata tha ki apni manzil to galat raahon me hai.





Tumhara Nam lene se mujhe sab jaan jaate hain,,,

Main Wo Khoyi Hui Cheez Hoon, Jiska Pata Tum Ho...!!! 


Rah-e-muhabbat main ajab sa hua hai haal apna,
Na zakhm nazar ata hai na dard saha jata hai…  


Na-samajh to main na tha, na-samajh to zindagi thi...
Par jab zindagi ne samjhana shuru kia...
Main na-samajh sa khamosh ho gaya

 Na Jane Q Gale Se Lipat K RoneLage"WO",
Jab Hum Barso Baad Mile.

Jate Hue Jinhone Kaha Tha Mujhse.K
"TUM"Jaise Lakhon Milenge...

Door jakar bhi hum door jaa na sakenge,
Kitna royenge hum bata na sakenge,
Gham iska nahi ki aap mil na sakoge,
Dard is baat ka hoga ki hum aapko bhula na sakenge…

Woh Apne Fayde Ki Khatir Fir Aa Mile Humse
...
Hum Nadan The Samjhe Ke Duwaon Ka Jawab Aaya..!!

Ishq Key Khayaal Bohat Hain..
Ishq Key Charche Bohat Hain..
Sochte Hain Hum Bhi Kar Le Ishq..
Par Sunte Hain Ishq Mein Kharche Bohat Hain..
  
  

Yanna Rascala.. Mind It!! RAJNIKANT UNLIMITED.

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Yanna Rascala.. Mind It!! RAJNIKANT UNLIMITED

People Update Status Via
BlackBerry, iPhone, iPad,
Etc.. Rajnikant Updates Status
Via Calculator...

Rajnikanth's dog's house has
a signboard on it, saying..
Maalik Se Sawdhan!

Once Rajnikant Decided To Race
With Time.. & The Result Is
Time Is Still Running
Galileo used 'Lamp' to
Study, Graham bell used
'Candle' to study,

Shakshpeare studied in 'Street
lights' But .....

Do u know about
Rajnikant......????

Only Agarbatti
When Rajnikant was a student!

You can't guess this one...

Teachers used to bunk!
While playing once Rajnikant
said "statue" to a girl... Now
that Statue is know as "Statue
of Liberty"

Once Rajnikant was playing
cricket in the monsoons....

and .... The rain was cancelled
due to the match.

One day Rajnikant gone 4
morning walk & in afternoon
police arrstd him..

WHY? Bcoz he reachd USA
witout visa
Why did british leave India in
1947? Bcoz. they came to know
Rajnikant was going to be born
in 1948...

This Msg. is being Sent in the
Interest of Humanity-"Guys
Please Stop making Jokes on
Rajnikant or else he will
Delete the INTERNET.

PROFESSIONAL LOVE LETTER - FUNNY indian joke

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This is how to write a love letter in a professional manner...!!

Dearest Girl,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 1st day of May.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 9tt day of May at 9.30 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 7 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be treated as cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering some other girl. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely,

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Bonus JOKE 

True Story - sex for $ 20.
~ Believe it or not - it's a true story !!!*

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million. She explained that she had 'charged' him for sex, and these were the results of her savings and investments. The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you.' That's when she shot him.

You know, *men just don't know when to keep their mouth shut ,specially when drunk.

What will actually happen in Telangana issue??? - Telangana Jokes

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My (an outsider's) guess on how the Telangana issue will pan out in the coming days and months........

- Congress will make sure the issue is kept burning till the elections.

- The AP assembly will not pass the resolution for a separate state of Telangana.

- The Parliament will not be allowed to function during the winter session by both pro- and anti-Telangana groups so that the Parliament will not be able to decide whether to overrule the AP assembly.

- Election dates will be announced and Election Commission might ask the government to defer the decision till elections are over.

- YSR Congress will win majority of seats in Seemandhra and Congress in Telangana.

- Jagan Reddy will become the CM of AP and will support any govt at the center (BJP or Congress) to keep the CBI away from him.

- Since elections are over, no party (maybe except TRS) will show any interest in resolving the issue... and life will go on till the next elections!!!

Funny Hindi Email Jokes

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1. Jokes................

CRUEL Poltri farm malik ne sub murghiyon se kaha

agar tum sab ne 2-2 ande nahi diye to tum sub ko kaat dunga…

agli subah sAb ne 2-2 ande diye, magar 1 ne 1 anda diya…
...
Malik: Tum ne 1 anda kyun diya :x

Usne kaha: abe kaminey.......woh toh katne ke darr se de diya...... warna main toh MURGA hun.............!!!! 

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2. 3 sardar bed par so rahe the, aur un teeno ko jagah theek se nhi mil rahi thi...

1 sardar bed se niche sone chala gaya....

use dekhkar dusre sardr ne use kaha:"Ab jageh ho gayi hai uper aaja" 

 

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3. Pandit ka Tota (parrot) roz 1 admi ko dekhta or bolta,

"aur kamine"!!

Us admi ne pandit se shikayat ki to pandit ne tote to danta...
...
Agle din jab vo admi tote k karib se guzra to tota kuch na bola...

thoda aage jake us admi ne mud ke dekha to tota haste hue bola..

"SAMAJH TO TU GAYA HI HOGA"!! 

 

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4. 1 sardar roz subeh ped ki daali pe chad ke beth jata tha..

puchho Q..???

?
...
?

?

?

?

bechara MBA karke pagal ho gaya tha, apne aap ko "Branch manager" samajhta tha :D

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5. 3 idiots... Raju, Farhan and Rancho evening walk ke liye nikale...

achanak aandhi aayi aur Rancho gayab ho gaya

Pata hai kyun?
...
kyunki.. Beheti hawa sa tha wo....

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6. Kashmir ki wadiyo mein...
Barfilee hawaon mein..
jheel ke kinare baithe...
Ranjha ko heer ne kya kaha?
.
....
.
.

Haramkhor, Hero na ban... sweater pehen le !!

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7.Father wathing FTV...,

suddenly son came...

father:- Garib ladkiya hai....
...kapde lene ke liye paise nai hai....

Son:- jab inse bi jyada garib ladkiya aye to mujhe bula lena..

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8. By mistake, a sardar goes in into ladies toilet room.

All ladies suddenly stand up!

Sardar: Izzat dil mein ho yahi kaafi hai...
...
Baitho... baitho...!

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9. A baniya boy on date with his girlfriend...

After coming back home

His Dad: kitne paise kharche :x
...
Son: 500/-

Dad: Angrily... 500 :o

Son: Haan, wo itne hi leke aayi thi

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WHY ITS IMPORTANT TO HAVE FRIENDS

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FUNNY INDIAN POLITICIAN EMAIL JOKE

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Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Sonia are on a long flight in an Air Force plane.
Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs.100 note out and make someone down below happy."
Jayalalitha, not wanting to be outdone, says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs.50 notes, throw them down and make two people down below happy." Of course Sonia doesn't want these two candidates to out do her so she pipes in, 'I would instead take one hundred Rs.I notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier.
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 975 million people happy!"

INDIAN, PAKISTANI AND BANGLADESHI JOKE

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Pakistani, Bangladeshi and OUR Sardar are in a bar one night
having a beer.

The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass
in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.

He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't
need to drink from the same one twice."

The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his
beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and
shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses
that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice
either."

OUR Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks
it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and
shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshi
that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."