Showing posts with label INDIAN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label INDIAN. Show all posts
Monday, March 23, 2015
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Top 12 Funny Indian Shops Sarcastic Names
Top 12 funny shops...
1.Gandhi Hair Saloon.
2.Mallika Textiles.
3.Kalmadi Constructions Pvt Ltd
4.Jayalalita Fitness Club.
5.Dharmendra Dance Academy.
6.Mayawati Beauty Parlour.
7.Yamraj Travels.
8.Surdas Opticals.
9.Inzamam English Classes.
10.Salman Marriage Bureau.
11.Rakhi Satsang Kendra...
12.Manmohan Public Speaking Training Course Institute.
And the best of all is
Asharaam bapu girls high school
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Bonus Jokes
Something to laugh about.
Sign outside AIR INDIA plane:
"Welcome to Warm & Motherly Treatment Here".
Warm, Because AC is not working and
Motherly, Because all Air hostess are above 50!
-0-----------------------------------------------------------------
WELCOME TO THE
📍 21ST CENTURY!!! 📍
*Our Phones ~
Wireless
*Cooking ~
📛 Fireless
*Cars ~
Keyless
Food ~
Fatless
Tyres ~
⚪ Tubeless
*Dress ~
Sleeveless
👬👬 Youth ~
Jobless
*Leaders ~
Shameless
Relationships ~
👥 Meaningless
*Attitude ~
👤 Careless
Feelings ~
Heartless
Education ~
✖ Valueless
Children ~
🔻Mannerless
Everything is becoming
LESS
but still our hopes are
🔛 endless
Interesting thing about Thursday in 2013.
4/4/2013 Thursday
6/6/2013 Thursday
8/8/2013 Thursday
10/10/2013 Thursday
12/12/2013 Thursday.
Jo calendr 1991 ka tha,
............ wahi,,,
Calendar 2013 ka hai,
Date & Day even Festivals
are same,
Kaun kehta hai,
Ki, ................
Gujra hua waqt wapas nahi aata??.
I hope, I am the first who inform u...
Enjoy the year of 1991 in 2013....!
So
We are back in the 90s.....
GDP is back to 5%,
Dalmiya is back in BCCI,
Murthy is back in Infosys,
Nawaz Sharif is back in Pakistan,
Madhuri is back in bollywood &
Sanjay Dutt is back in Jail....
Market me naya aaya hai....
Share karo phatta phatt.
1.Gandhi Hair Saloon.
2.Mallika Textiles.
3.Kalmadi Constructions Pvt Ltd
4.Jayalalita Fitness Club.
5.Dharmendra Dance Academy.
6.Mayawati Beauty Parlour.
7.Yamraj Travels.
8.Surdas Opticals.
9.Inzamam English Classes.
10.Salman Marriage Bureau.
11.Rakhi Satsang Kendra...
12.Manmohan Public Speaking Training Course Institute.
And the best of all is
Asharaam bapu girls high school
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Bonus Jokes
Something to laugh about.
Sign outside AIR INDIA plane:
"Welcome to Warm & Motherly Treatment Here".
Warm, Because AC is not working and
Motherly, Because all Air hostess are above 50!
-0-----------------------------------------------------------------
WELCOME TO THE
📍 21ST CENTURY!!! 📍
*Our Phones ~
Wireless
*Cooking ~
📛 Fireless
*Cars ~
Keyless
Food ~
Fatless
Tyres ~
⚪ Tubeless
*Dress ~
Sleeveless
👬👬 Youth ~
Jobless
*Leaders ~
Shameless
Relationships ~
👥 Meaningless
*Attitude ~
👤 Careless
Feelings ~
Heartless
Education ~
✖ Valueless
Children ~
🔻Mannerless
Everything is becoming
LESS
but still our hopes are
🔛 endless
Interesting thing about Thursday in 2013.
4/4/2013 Thursday
6/6/2013 Thursday
8/8/2013 Thursday
10/10/2013 Thursday
12/12/2013 Thursday.
Jo calendr 1991 ka tha,
............ wahi,,,
Calendar 2013 ka hai,
Date & Day even Festivals
are same,
Kaun kehta hai,
Ki, ................
Gujra hua waqt wapas nahi aata??.
I hope, I am the first who inform u...
Enjoy the year of 1991 in 2013....!
So
We are back in the 90s.....
GDP is back to 5%,
Dalmiya is back in BCCI,
Murthy is back in Infosys,
Nawaz Sharif is back in Pakistan,
Madhuri is back in bollywood &
Sanjay Dutt is back in Jail....
Market me naya aaya hai....
Share karo phatta phatt.
PROFESSIONAL LOVE LETTER - FUNNY indian joke
This is how to write a love letter in a professional manner...!!
Dearest Girl,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 1st day of May.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 9tt day of May at 9.30 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 7 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be treated as cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering some other girl. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely,
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bonus JOKE
True Story - sex for $ 20.
~ Believe it or not - it's a true story !!!*
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million. She explained that she had 'charged' him for sex, and these were the results of her savings and investments. The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you.' That's when she shot him.
You know, *men just don't know when to keep their mouth shut ,specially when drunk.
Dearest Girl,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 1st day of May.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 9tt day of May at 9.30 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 7 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be treated as cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering some other girl. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely,
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bonus JOKE
True Story - sex for $ 20.
~ Believe it or not - it's a true story !!!*
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million. She explained that she had 'charged' him for sex, and these were the results of her savings and investments. The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you.' That's when she shot him.
You know, *men just don't know when to keep their mouth shut ,specially when drunk.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
FUNNY INDIAN POLITICIAN EMAIL JOKE
Laloo, Jayalalitha, and Sonia are on a long flight in an Air Force plane.
Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs.100 note out and make someone down below happy."
Jayalalitha, not wanting to be outdone, says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs.50 notes, throw them down and make two people down below happy." Of course Sonia doesn't want these two candidates to out do her so she pipes in, 'I would instead take one hundred Rs.I notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier.
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 975 million people happy!"
Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs.100 note out and make someone down below happy."
Jayalalitha, not wanting to be outdone, says, "If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs.50 notes, throw them down and make two people down below happy." Of course Sonia doesn't want these two candidates to out do her so she pipes in, 'I would instead take one hundred Rs.I notes and throw them out to make 100 people just a little happier.
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 975 million people happy!"
Monday, September 12, 2011
INDIAN, PAKISTANI AND BANGLADESHI JOKE
Pakistani, Bangladeshi and OUR Sardar are in a bar one night
having a beer.
The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass
in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't
need to drink from the same one twice."
The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his
beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and
shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses
that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice
either."
OUR Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks
it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and
shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshi
that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
having a beer.
The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass
in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't
need to drink from the same one twice."
The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his
beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and
shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses
that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice
either."
OUR Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks
it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and
shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi.
He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshi
that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
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