Ishant Sharma jokes - Funny Facts

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1. Ishant Sharma is God’s answer to BCCI’s wrongdoings.
2. Newton’s 3rd law modified: For every N Srinivasan, there is an equal and opposite Ishant Sharma.
3. Dear Dhoni, Ishant Sharma ko OLX pe bech de.
4. Ishant Sharma makes people miss Ashish Nehra.
5. Dhoni would have bowled better than Ishant Sharma. In fact, even Duncan Fletcher would have.
6. It wasn’t Faulkner, it wasn’t Voges. Australia’s match winner tonight was Ishant Sharma.
7. If ever there was an Orange Cap award for bowlers, Ishant Sharma would win it hands down.
8. Ajit Agarkar would be having second thoughts on his retirement after looking at Ishant Sharma bowl.
9. Restaurants to rename ‘unlimited’ offer packages to ‘Ishant Sharma’ packages.
10. Ishant Sharma should be called Lord Ishant Sharma henceforth.
11. Ishant Sharma doesn’t like to cut his hair because he wants to hide his face when bowlers thrash him around the park.
12. BCCI should consider giving Ishant Shamra voluntary retirement.
13. When Ishant Sharma bowls, it’s a working holiday for all fielders. Of course, the spectators are the real fielders.
14. Ishant Sharma doesn’t need a towel to indicate that he’s giving away runs.
15. Colors to give Ishant Sharma a wild card entry to Big Boss season 7.
16. Abey Kuruvilla can bowl better than Ishant Sharma.
17. Dhoni isn’t India’s greatest finisher, Ishant Sharma is.
18. Ishant Sharma has the ability to overshadow Sir Ravindra Jadeja.
19. At this rate, Ishant Sharma would end up with the most number of centuries (with the ball) for India in ODIs.
20. LOL is Ishant Sharma’s middle name.

ORIGINAL MARATHI NAME - ADOPTED WESTERN NAME : Funny Marathi joke

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ORIGINAL MARATHI NAME - ADOPTED WESTERN NAME :

Janya Banya Joshi - Jon Bon Jovi

Audumbar Agashe - Andre Agassi...

Malati Hinginkar - Martina Hingis

Damayanti More - Demi Moore

Meghana Rane - Meg Ryan

Arjun Shivajinagarkar - ! Arnold Schwarznegger

Devendra Gadge - Darren Gough

Shevanti Dagadu - Sharon Stone

Sitaram Wagh - Steve Waugh

Janoba Rodke - Jonty Rhodes

Purshottam Sampat - Pete Sampras

Baal Ghate - Bill Gates

Menaka Solanki - Monica Seles

Vallabhrao Phutane - Vladimir Putin

Raju More - Roger Moore

Banya Borkar - Boris Becker

Alladh Gore - Al Gore

Shankar Varnekar - Shane Warne

Raju Phadke - Roger Federer

Nikhil Pinjare - Nicholas Cage

Meghana Kolhe - Megan Fox ...

Sharad Pawar = Sharapowa.

Anjali Jondhale = Angelina Jolie.

Atmaram Parab = Adam Parore.

LATEST RAJNIKANTH JOKES COLLECTION

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All new series of Rajnikanth:
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Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!
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Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass!
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Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out!!
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The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!!
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Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
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Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost`s
energy;
and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy!
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Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but
Einstein died watching that, since Light came second!!
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Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside"
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When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
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Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North??? . . Because, RAJINIKANTH lives in the South and no one has guts to point at him!!!
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The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
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An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai, Rajinikanth stopped it in Lonawala
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Only Rajinikanth knows why Mona Lisa is smiling.
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Rajinikanth is the person in the world who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake!
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Rajinikanth went to the world cooking championship...of course Rajini won. But
guess what did he make in final??? Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer
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This 1 is Baap
Wimbledon special

Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. Ask me anything and I will answer

Rajnikanth: Kanna.. How many holes are there in the net ?

Funny Shayri jokes

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Dear Love Guru,

There is this girl I love so much but I still don't know why she won't talk to me anymore. It started like this:

She posted on Facebook: "All men are dogs!"

I commented: "Which breed is your father?"

That's how the problem started. Please did I ask the wrong question?


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Na-samajh to main na tha, na-samajh to zindagi thi...
Par jab zindagi ne samjhana shuru kia...
Main na-samajh sa khamosh ho gaya


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Meri Manzil, Meri Had Bas Tum Se, Tum Tak,,

Fakhr Ye Ke Tum Mere Ho, Fikr Ye Ke Kab Tak. 


 Keh diya aaj us faqeer ney aaj mera haath dekh kar...

Tu mout sey nahi, kisi ki yaad me marega..! </3


 Do raaste nikalte hai inn galiyon se...
Jo sahi hai.. Wo sahi hi hai
par kise pata tha ki apni manzil to galat raahon me hai.





Tumhara Nam lene se mujhe sab jaan jaate hain,,,

Main Wo Khoyi Hui Cheez Hoon, Jiska Pata Tum Ho...!!! 


Rah-e-muhabbat main ajab sa hua hai haal apna,
Na zakhm nazar ata hai na dard saha jata hai…  


Na-samajh to main na tha, na-samajh to zindagi thi...
Par jab zindagi ne samjhana shuru kia...
Main na-samajh sa khamosh ho gaya

 Na Jane Q Gale Se Lipat K RoneLage"WO",
Jab Hum Barso Baad Mile.

Jate Hue Jinhone Kaha Tha Mujhse.K
"TUM"Jaise Lakhon Milenge...

Door jakar bhi hum door jaa na sakenge,
Kitna royenge hum bata na sakenge,
Gham iska nahi ki aap mil na sakoge,
Dard is baat ka hoga ki hum aapko bhula na sakenge…

Woh Apne Fayde Ki Khatir Fir Aa Mile Humse
...
Hum Nadan The Samjhe Ke Duwaon Ka Jawab Aaya..!!

Ishq Key Khayaal Bohat Hain..
Ishq Key Charche Bohat Hain..
Sochte Hain Hum Bhi Kar Le Ishq..
Par Sunte Hain Ishq Mein Kharche Bohat Hain..
  
  

Yanna Rascala.. Mind It!! RAJNIKANT UNLIMITED.

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Yanna Rascala.. Mind It!! RAJNIKANT UNLIMITED

People Update Status Via
BlackBerry, iPhone, iPad,
Etc.. Rajnikant Updates Status
Via Calculator...

Rajnikanth's dog's house has
a signboard on it, saying..
Maalik Se Sawdhan!

Once Rajnikant Decided To Race
With Time.. & The Result Is
Time Is Still Running
Galileo used 'Lamp' to
Study, Graham bell used
'Candle' to study,

Shakshpeare studied in 'Street
lights' But .....

Do u know about
Rajnikant......????

Only Agarbatti
When Rajnikant was a student!

You can't guess this one...

Teachers used to bunk!
While playing once Rajnikant
said "statue" to a girl... Now
that Statue is know as "Statue
of Liberty"

Once Rajnikant was playing
cricket in the monsoons....

and .... The rain was cancelled
due to the match.

One day Rajnikant gone 4
morning walk & in afternoon
police arrstd him..

WHY? Bcoz he reachd USA
witout visa
Why did british leave India in
1947? Bcoz. they came to know
Rajnikant was going to be born
in 1948...

This Msg. is being Sent in the
Interest of Humanity-"Guys
Please Stop making Jokes on
Rajnikant or else he will
Delete the INTERNET.

Top 12 Funny Indian Shops Sarcastic Names

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Top 12 funny shops...

1.Gandhi Hair Saloon.

2.Mallika Textiles.

3.Kalmadi Constructions Pvt Ltd

4.Jayalalita Fitness Club.

5.Dharmendra Dance Academy.

6.Mayawati Beauty Parlour.

7.Yamraj Travels.

8.Surdas Opticals.

9.Inzamam English Classes.

10.Salman Marriage Bureau.

11.Rakhi Satsang Kendra...

12.Manmohan Public Speaking Training Course Institute.

And the best of all is
Asharaam bapu girls high school

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Bonus Jokes

Something to laugh about.

Sign outside AIR INDIA plane:

"Welcome to Warm & Motherly Treatment Here".

Warm, Because AC is not working and

Motherly, Because all Air hostess are above 50!

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WELCOME TO THE

📍 21ST CENTURY!!! 📍

*Our Phones ~

Wireless

*Cooking ~

📛 Fireless

*Cars ~

Keyless

Food ~

Fatless

Tyres ~

⚪ Tubeless

*Dress ~

Sleeveless

👬👬 Youth ~

Jobless

*Leaders ~

Shameless

Relationships ~

👥 Meaningless

*Attitude ~

👤 Careless

Feelings ~

Heartless

Education ~

✖ Valueless

Children ~

🔻Mannerless

Everything is becoming

LESS

but still our hopes are

🔛 endless

Interesting thing about Thursday in 2013.

4/4/2013 Thursday

6/6/2013 Thursday

8/8/2013 Thursday

10/10/2013 Thursday

12/12/2013 Thursday.

Jo calendr 1991 ka tha,

............ wahi,,,

Calendar 2013 ka hai,

Date & Day even Festivals
are same,

Kaun kehta hai,
Ki, ................

Gujra hua waqt wapas nahi aata??.

I hope, I am the first who inform u...

Enjoy the year of 1991 in 2013....!

So

We are back in the 90s.....

GDP is back to 5%,

Dalmiya is back in BCCI,

Murthy is back in Infosys,

Nawaz Sharif is back in Pakistan,

Madhuri is back in bollywood &

Sanjay Dutt is back in Jail....



Market me naya aaya hai....
Share karo phatta phatt. 

PROFESSIONAL LOVE LETTER - FUNNY indian joke

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This is how to write a love letter in a professional manner...!!

Dearest Girl,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 1st day of May.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 9tt day of May at 9.30 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 7 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be treated as cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering some other girl. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely,

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Bonus JOKE 

True Story - sex for $ 20.
~ Believe it or not - it's a true story !!!*

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another job. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million. She explained that she had 'charged' him for sex, and these were the results of her savings and investments. The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you.' That's when she shot him.

You know, *men just don't know when to keep their mouth shut ,specially when drunk.

Hilarious Apology Letter - Funny Indian English

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Hilarious Apology Letter.....

A School Master from a remote rural area was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing...

Deer sur,

If small small mistakes getting inside my letter, I big you pardon, ass I am not a good englis speaker.

This is my fist vijit to Bombai. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following region, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. I tolded I has head ache problem due to migration. Still the clerk rejected to give ticket to I and my sun.I putted a complain on station masterji. He said I to go to the lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed for long time and finally with great difficulty she gave a birth to my sun.

Anyway I thanked the station master also because he was phully responsible for getting birth of my sun.

Ass a hole it was a bhery diphicult experiment in my hole life. I hope u will look into explain my hole story after, and late me joint first. I am now ending this fastly.

I am a waiter for your responsement. May god blast you

What will actually happen in Telangana issue??? - Telangana Jokes

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My (an outsider's) guess on how the Telangana issue will pan out in the coming days and months........

- Congress will make sure the issue is kept burning till the elections.

- The AP assembly will not pass the resolution for a separate state of Telangana.

- The Parliament will not be allowed to function during the winter session by both pro- and anti-Telangana groups so that the Parliament will not be able to decide whether to overrule the AP assembly.

- Election dates will be announced and Election Commission might ask the government to defer the decision till elections are over.

- YSR Congress will win majority of seats in Seemandhra and Congress in Telangana.

- Jagan Reddy will become the CM of AP and will support any govt at the center (BJP or Congress) to keep the CBI away from him.

- Since elections are over, no party (maybe except TRS) will show any interest in resolving the issue... and life will go on till the next elections!!!